I have demons in me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
