Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
