wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
