let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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