I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
