I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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