I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
