Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
