You work out of a Hotel?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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