Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
