Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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