don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize