Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
