Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
