my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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