the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
