I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
