how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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