Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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