dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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