I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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