Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
