How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize