Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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