Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
