i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
