So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
