U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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