i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
