He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
