Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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