Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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