Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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