I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
