And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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