; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
