...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
