..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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