I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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