weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize