what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
