Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
