Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
