we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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