But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
