Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this boner is exhausting
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
