Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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