I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just want nice things and good sex
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
