I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
