I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have tasted many bathrooms
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