i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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