I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize