This is not my ceiling
your room smells of hookers.
And success
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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