her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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