My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
