i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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