I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
