a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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