at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
