I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
