Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
well I can't set my house on fire every night
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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