NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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