I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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