hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
