We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
