dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
