yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
