wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
