We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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