It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
